Nora and Kettle by Lauren Nicolle Taylor
*I received an Advanced Copy due to pre-publication.*
Kindle Edition
Historical Fiction
Reviewed by Leah
Reviewed by Leah
This post is going to be different. And it's going to contain a lot of emotional experiences I've been through and a really personal look into my life. If you're not willing to be confronted with those facts, or you at all feel uncomfortable with that idea, please don't hesitate to go read a more upbeat, less emotional review.
Because the truth of it is, this book handled very hard issues in a way that was so realistic that it just about destroyed me.
Summary:
Nora Deere was raised to be the classical upper class girl. Her father is a respected Civil Rights Attorney. Her mother a beautiful and wealthy lady. And a little sister who, despite her deafness, is all wildness and enthusiasm for whatever little things life throws her way.
It is all a lie.
Her father is a monster. And somehow she has to find the strength to be the shield for her sister when her mother's life slips away. But when things reach their breaking point, there's nothing left but the hysteria.
Kettle is a King. Co-founder of a band of kids known to be "Lost" who are really just unwanted, forgotten, or left to the streets. Between him and his brother, Kin, they created the Kings of the subway, and they keep the kids alive as much as possible. They don't steal and they don't cause problems, and they are free. Working hard to maintain that freedom, Kettle still has his own personal demons to overcome.
When Kettle chooses to sleep in the alley beneath Nora's window, it will pull the tethers of their lives ever closer until they're faced with challenges and hopes they never knew could exist.
Review:
I've heard that smell is the stronger sense. The one that can coax memories from a hazy brain. For me, it's sounds. Sounds wrap around my throat and strangle me. Sounds warn like a foghorn in the night.
~ Nora and Kettle by Lauren Nicolle Taylor ~
I know this feeling. All too well. The terror that chokes you every time he enters the room. The tension straightening your back and tightening every muscle in your body, because you know that for whatever order he gives, you'll have to react fast. The absolute awareness of your surroundings even during something so innocent as a night of watching TV. Every sound is catalogued and identified. From the creaks in the floor with every heavy step he takes, to the groaning of his chair as he gets settled. The snap of his fingers as he demands a refill, ordering about whichever kid is closest. His voice as he speaks above us to the only person he considers on his level, my mom. The rest of us keeping our eyes trained on the television, except for those few furtive glances we make excuses for in order to gauge his mood.
I know this terror. I lived with it for nearly fifteen years. The hatred, I know better. And my father wasn't nearly as bad as Nora's.
You see, I was hit, but never beaten. And it was always as a result of what he'd decided was an actual transgression. My dad didn't just decide that he needed to take out his anger on someone. He didn't just decide that his children were walking punching bags, best suited for expelling his rage. And he definitely never hated any one of us.
Many people tell me that my dad was a great man. Most days, I just shrug it off because it's not worth it to puncture that perfect image they have left of the man. But I knew the asshole and I knew his anger issues and I knew his flaws better than any other being. I knew what it was to have no room left in my soul to fear anything else, because I lived in a constant state of terror of him. And before I was above the age of six, I knew what it was to hate.
I know Nora's terror. And despite the fact that our circumstances are nowhere near similar, that emotion is still as raw and real for me as it is for her.
I also know her confusion. Why can't she just let him go? Why does she make everything about him? How could she let him have so much control over her life, even when he's not around? How was it fair to see the good in him and know it exists, but have every interaction with him confirm why she hates him?
I've also never gotten any of these answers. Maybe it has something to do with the damage inflicted. When you're exposed to something like that for so long, it's scarring upon scarring upon scarring. Until your body feels more like it's made of scar tissue than muscle. Well, that's what happens to our minds. We fixate on why they can't be better. Why they can't control their anger and rage. And why we had to be the targets. Why did we have to suffer for it?
People like to say that every girl has daddy issues. Well, in my case, it's true. And those are issues that will remain unresolved because, at fifteen, my darkest wish was finally answered: he died.
I thought I hated him before… Leaving my mother like that, at a time when things were finally turning for the better ... nothing could make me hate him more.
As I said in the beginning of this review, this was very emotional for me as I read through Nora's narrative. I also often describe it as "destroying me." And it was at that point that I quoted above that I almost burst into tears at work, because it so accurately described how I'd lived my entire childhood.
This, my friends, is the mark of a truly skillful author. One who evokes the emotions necessary to the situation. If you're lucky to have never experienced anything like this firsthand, you will once you read this. And if you have … consider this review your trigger warning.
I've read several of Ms. Taylor's books before, and always knew that I had to be emotionally prepared before going in. This … I needed to prepare better for this. I've read other books that feature some abuse in several forms. Never have I read anything that brings back that many memories.
Despite what this sounds like, this is actually a very positive review. When a writer has that power to evoke so many emotions and memories from me, I have to give them every praise the situation demands. Heart-wrenching as this was to read, I am eternally grateful that I had the opportunity to read Nora and Kettle.
And, to be honest, Kettle hasn't had it easy either. In fact, he's been in Nora's situation--but with a lot less money--and he's been in a Japanese American internment camp. And while I also connected with Kettle, and actually liked him better as a narrator, it was my emotional solidarity with Nora that really hit me.
But Kettle is such a great character to get to know. His realism stands as a stark contrast to Nora's daydreaming. Though his memories have a tendency to swallow him whole, he uses them as a reminder of what he's been through, and how much things have grown better for him. Truthfully, without Kettle's mindset, I don't know how much of Nora I could have taken. Because as much as I identified with her situation, I could still see that she sounded nowhere near an eighteen year old girl. Especially when it came to her spacing out in a daydream instead of being focused on the very critical present.
All in all, this is the story of two broken people who are trying to learn how to stitch themselves back together while looking after the ones they care about. And maybe learning to let someone else in long enough to help with the healing.
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