Book Review: Eye of Tanub by M. E. Cunningham

The Eye Of Tanub by M. E. Cunningham

Clean Teen Publishing © 2014

Kindle Edition

Fantasy

Reviewed by Leah

The Eye of Tanub on Amazon

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Okay, so this is not going to be a normal review.  Everything's going to be short and condensed and separated into 'The Good' and 'The Bad'.  There really is no in-between here.

First of all, a brief Summary for you all:

Lauren Marriott is a fifteen year old model-wannabe.  When she finds her precious portfolio destroyed, therefore, the blame falls instantly on her fourteen year old brother, Zach.  In an attempt to hurt him like she has been hurt, she grabs the mysterious pendent from his desk and struggles over it with him.  Magic ensues.

All of a sudden, the pair are transported to a world that is completely unreal … unless you play the RPG 'Warlord'.  Then you know exactly where you are and how things are going to work.  Which Zach does--for the most part.

Anxious to return home, Lauren has to learn not to be such a snob and listen to what her brother has to say.  It may be the only thing keeping them alive.


The Good:

Throughout the first 58% of this book, I was decently entertained.  The chapters were short and easy to read and very simple--if it weren't intended for a younger scale audience, it might seem a bit immature (probably not the right word, but I'm going with it for now).  The world building could have used a little more work, but I was glad not to be bogged down with details.  And nothing has made me want to play Runescape again more than this book.  (Yes, I used to play Runescape.  My father, brother, and I were all addicted at some point and this book just almost revived that addiction.)

Honestly, I liked the fact that the siblings bickered and fought, as that made them seem more believable.  In the first half, all of Lauren's blunders made perfect sense, as she had no idea what she was supposed to do or how.  Her character was perfectly drawn as the stuck-up, arrogant, perfect little princess she thought of herself as.

I loved the idea of ending up in a computer game, almost Narnia style.  It was interesting to watch as Zach met his own character creations.  And you even felt bad for him when his created hero completely snubs him due to his noob level and lack of interesting qualities.

It was especially interesting to experience Lauren and Zach learning to like each other over time.  They each have their moments, to be sure--okay, LAUREN has her tantrums a lot--but they learn to deal in ways better than before.

Perhaps my favorite parts, however, involved the dryad priestess, Flitwicket.  Created by Zach, she's a great healer and isn't too bad in a fight.  She also acts like an older sister to Lauren, helping her to navigate this strange new world.  There is an aura of wisdom about her that makes her a soothing and comfortable character to read about.  And, she and Lauren had a decent female friendship without drama or stupidity ruining it.  For that, I am very grateful.

All in all, there was a lot of potential for this book.

Of course, that potential seemed to fly out the window at about 60%.


The Bad:

(Another warning before we get started, here is where the majority of spoilers come in, my rage-ranting reaches its peak, and profuse swearing abounds.  If you are uncomfortable with any/all of these things, please feel free to leave this review right now.)

Still with me?  Okay, here's the nitty-gritty of it…

A bit of a disclaimer before we start: this book was written with much younger readers in mind, I believe.  Like borderline thirteen, if not a bit younger.  This means that the writing was very simplistic and had a lot of telling and not showing moments.  That being the case, it's possible all of the rage I've been harboring throughout the second half of this book is simply because it's not my cup of tea.  Yes, this is my formal disclaimer.

Since I'm going to postpone the raging till the end (as much as possible) we'll start off slow.

First of all, why in the world does Zach call his RPG characters 'toons'?  I've played multiple RPGs.  Online and off.  Never in the world would any noob even call those characters 'toons'.  Not if they're over the age of six.  This, my friends, is completely unacceptable.

Then we have miss 'Lauren of Light'.  Gag me.  Hardly anyone in the whole freaking universe has a title, but this snob gets one?  Yes, because we just needed her to get more full of herself in a world where she's screwed up everything so far.  Including pissing off the Head Priestess--who gives her the bloody title for no flipping reason!

Another issue I have is the multiple narrators.  In the beginning we have Lauren in first person.  We have her for a while and I'd actually gotten used to her.  To the point where her selfishness wasn't as irritating as it would later prove to be.  Suddenly, it has to jump to Zach.  Cue sibling head hopping.  Then it does this odd thing where another character is the focus, but in third person.  Then it switches back and forth between these three for some time.  We get near the end, however, and it's a free-for-all between five of them!  Not cool.  Give me two at the most, but we get into higher numbers and I'm irritated.

My other pet-peeve was the lack of believability where it concerned Zach and Lauren.  While the bickering was typical sibling stuff, there was a catalyst in the beginning that really threw Lauren in a rage and made her want to physically harm him.  The worst of it is?  It's not believable.  Zachary has no motive to destroy his sister's portfolio.  He doesn't care one whit about it.  But the moment the damage is done, Lauren can blame no one else and so she jumps down his throat.  (Another side note pet peeve: who the hell actually destroyed it?  The book never says.)  To me this is entirely unbelievable.  I have a younger brother.  I've hated him most of his life and we only rarely feel love for one another.  I get that.  But I also know that he would never destroy something I valued so highly, UNLESS I provoked him in an unforgivable way.  (In which case, one of us would probably be printing off Missing Person posters whilst trying to conceal the mud on our sneakers after we dug a grave out back.)  So this opening catalyst to cause Lauren and Zachary to fight is a bit overdramatic and lacks any substantial credit to its case.  In short, a poor plot device used to spur on the story.

Zachary's narrative is also unrealistic.  I've had a fourteen year old brother.  I know how they talk.  How they think.  What they say.  And whether or not they actually cringe if someone *gasp* curses!  (No, they don't freaking cringe.  They've already said worse.  If you think your kid is an angel, go down another glass of wine while you're off in la-la land.)  Zach was nothing like a fourteen year old boy.  Not in his thoughts or his reactions to anything typical.  At best, he was a prepubescent boy; at worst, he was the heroine of a badly written YA novel who is supposed to be seventeen but acts twelve.

Speaking of not living up to her professed potential…  When Lauren is trained as a Priestess (which literally takes one quest and the gifting of new abilities by the Head Priestess) she is endowed with three wonderful blessings: primary healing, inner focus, and intelligence.  Excuse me, when the FUCK did she ever use the last two?!  I've seen selfish arrogance, does that count as inner focus?  How about happily riding a TIGER but thinking that the TIMBER WOLF looked more dangerous?  Since when does blatant ignorance fall under intelligence?  Oh, and that time you totally had a magic shield but instead got ate up by vampire rats?  That was fun, huh.  You bloody idiot.

From the 60% mark on down, I absolutely loathed Lauren.  As mentioned, she's a moron without a lick of common sense or true humility.  One minute she freaks out about how inappropriate it would be for her to be left alone with a guy … two seconds of insta-love hell later, she's engaged to him.  (Will rant about this in a little bit.)  Throughout the entire book, she never completes a whole character arc.  It doesn't even seem like she makes it half-way.  I mean, in books like this, you expect the MC to start off rough around the edges.  Then they grow and learn.  In this case, the reader was expecting selfish, arrogant, cruel Lauren to grow softer edges and maybe come to care about her brother in a natural, almost maternal sort of way.  I'd have been okay with at least one possessive line about him.  I wanted her to come to his defense because that is her little brother, and no one else is allowed to fuck with him.

I got none of that.  Instead, she remained pigheaded, arrogant, and selfish throughout the entire novel.  While she supposedly develops some real feelings for her brother, it shows very little in their relationship.  Instead, she's too damn busy becoming some silly little creature whilst wooing her brother's "toon".

*Deep Breath*

I feel the need to reiterate: Lauren is an idiot.  And she is the epitome of anything wrong with a female lead in a book.  She is not intelligent.  She is petty.  Selfish and cruel.  Beautiful but with a soul that could be worked into a wrought iron design.  And of all the travesties she could ever happen into, she falls into the most severe case of insta-love bullshittery that I've seen in a long time.

Worst of all, she falls in love with a hulking mass of a warrior character that--oh yeah!--her brother created!  And you wonder why Zach is all weirded out by you making kissy faces at the character he spent hours honing and shaping into the ultimate badass?  Mind you, this is the very same character you claimed to be "scary" in the beginning of the book and who was ignoring you like you were something to be stepped over not TWO pages before.  Seriously, their hands touch and they have feelings and that starts the whole damn landslide.  Next thing you know, they're smooching--another of Zach's unrealistic descriptions for his age--and professing their undying love.  The kind that makes it okay for a recently-turned-sixteen year old girl to agree to marry this hulking, nineteen year old life form who--trope of all tropes--used to be a player, until he met her.  Never mind that she can't stay in his world and all…  Where's the harm in letting this delusion play itself out?  Again: I hate Lauren after 60%.

This sham of a romance is what 100% ruined this book.  With such a solid foundation as having two siblings at odds being transported to a whole other world, there was so much promise in having to build up their relationship, after first tearing down the mistrust and dislike of each other.  It was a chance to have them evolve to the point where they could help each other, work together, and decide in what ways it was best for them to get home.  If the book had left out any stupid romantic inclinations, this would have been a great story for brothers and sisters to read together and learn a valuable lesson.  Instead it did … that.  *sigh*

Unfortunately, the two leads weren't alone in their utter stupidity and failure at being anyone worth while.  We also have Kalika, a drow Maverick who is supposed to be a complete badass.  She's not.  She hates herself for being weak and pathetic … but not often enough since she is both throughout every part I've seen her in.  Then there's Dardanos, the love of Lauren's entire five minute swooning spell.  Every time I think of him, I picture the big, hulking guy in the Disney movie "Brave".  The one that is all muscles and not much smarter than a rock.  Yes, that is literally who I picture every time I read about Dardanos.  Not some hot, sexy guy like Lauren sees.  He's not intelligent.  He's not polite or considerate.  Hell, the only time he's tolerant of Zach is when he's trying to make a good impression on Lauren.  Idiot.  And then there's Kirth, the pixie prince.  I actually liked him for probably 80% of the book.  But his own arrogance sort-of turned me off to him at the end there.

Hmm.  I think I've finally had done with my raging.  Other than the predictability of the plot and that ending that made me laugh at Lauren's pain, I don't think there's much else to mention.


Overall:

I didn't like this book.  I would not recommend this book to any of my friends, because they all hate the same things that I do.  I do suggest anyone reading this to judge it solely on your reading experience, and not mine.  (But do what you want.)

The saddest thing is, this could have easily been an okay book.  With more work and less Dardanos, this could have been a spectacular book.  Ah, the potential…  For the first half of this book, it was actually entertaining to read…  Then that last 40%…  Well, there's no going back and there's my review for you.  It just sucks that I couldn't enjoy this more.

Book Review: The Voice by Jennifer Anne Davis

The Voice by Jennifer Anne Davis

Lands Atlantic Publishing © 2013

Kindle Edition

Urban Fiction

Reviewed by Leah

The Voice on Amazon

I have never truly hated going to work before.  Then I began reading this book and anything/everything that interfered with my reading time was Public Enemy #1.

Summary:

Audrey is a kidnap and assault survivor with no will to live and a 'victim' label firmly plastered on her forehead.  As far as she is concerned, that's the only thing people will see when they look at her.  For the rest of her life, she will be that girl.  The rape-victim.  It's a label she doesn't plan on living with for long.

Wheedling a golden ticket of a permission slip from her therapist, Audrey gets the okay to go and stay with her Aunt Kate in San Diego--clear across the country from her smothering family and the man who hurt her.  Her intentions are not pure, however.  Suicide is the only escape she has from this living hell.

Just when she's about to go through with it, however, a voice talks her out of it.  And this isn't just any voice; it's the voice.  The one that came to her in her darkest hours.  The one that talked to her through it all and whom she'd come to think of as a friend.  It was also the same voice that no longer spoke to her from the moment she was found.  And the only one she wanted most to hear.

Desirous of keeping a closer eye on her after this incident, Audrey's Aunt Kate has decided to enroll her at the High School where she teaches--with the neighbor's twin sons, Caleb and Justin, acting as bodyguards and chaperones.

Under an alias, Audrey finds herself in the one place where she least expected to be: High School.  With Caleb's buoyant personality pushing her to start living again, and Justin's antisocial behavior just pushing her away, Audrey has no choice but to submit to the fact that life does go on.  For better or worse.

And worse certainly decides to poke its nose in just when she's finally beginning to heal.  An old threat and a new one are now tormenting her … and even the voice can't help her this time.

Unless it belongs to someone closer to her than she suspected.

Initial Thoughts:

I … I didn't even mean to start reading this yet.  Here I was, scrolling through my Kindle Mac library, and here was this novel that oddly doesn't have a cover.  (Kindle apparently got the title and the novel right, but screwed up in the author and cover department.  Oh well, no harm done.)  So, I open it for a quick glance to see about reading later.

Yeah.  Later.  Uh-huh.

An hour and some two or three ignored FB messages later, I was already 25% deep.  You do not know the struggle of having to go help my boyfriend decide on tile designs versus staying home and finishing the book.  Then to have to go to work the following day…  Life is a cruel mistress sometimes.

Alas, I have finished this novel with much squeeing and many happy feels.  (God, I hate saying 'feels'.  They're 'feelings' okay!  But dammit, this novel calls for a deviation from the norm.)

Characters:

Audrey is an intelligent, goal-oriented, seventeen year old young woman whose life has turned into a never-ending nightmare.  She has survived the worst treatment a woman ever has to endure.  Kidnapping.  Malnourishment.  Sexual abuse and physical assault.  For two months, she was alone and in pain.  The only thing to comfort her was the voice--which may or may not have been a result of her conscience just trying to protect her and keep her from slipping further into insanity.  Audrey is terrified in ways many of us are lucky enough to never experience.  And she is one of the strongest, most realistic females I've ever read about.

There are very few heroines in any paranormal fiction (despite the obvious telepathy, I keep forgetting this is actually considered paranormal) that are capable of displaying common sense and presenting the reader with a realistic situation.

Audrey was abused.  Her uncle has been arrested.  The police are involved during EVERYTHING that happens.  I was so grateful for this, because it showcased the realness behind these kinds of attacks.  And Audrey displays both her pain and her insecurities in ways I know to be very realistic.  I admire this character so much and feel for her in so many ways.

Caleb embodies the classic surfer-boy jock ensemble.  He is charismatic and popular.  Beloved by all.  He is bold and outgoing.  Fun and idiotic at times.  And he is determined more than anyone to make sure that that period of Audrey's life is not the one she is defined by.  His entire mission is to remind her that there are still memories to make and a full life to be lived.  Whether she agrees or not.

Justin is moody, antisocial, and clings to his iPod like a life preserver.  For much of the book, Justin seems to anticipate Audrey's needs, but he never brings himself to actually get close to her.  (Spoiler Alert, turn back now: Probably because he's already as close as you can be, what with being in her head and all.)  And I immediately fell in love with Justin.  To me, his reasons were obvious and it only made me love him more.  Honestly, a more compassionate, loyal, caring partner would be hard to find.  And he's just the man that Audrey needs in her life.

Kate hasn't had it easy.  What with a missing niece and a cheating ex-fiance, things were looking pretty dark for Kate for a little bit.  But nothing soothes a girl's ego quite like splurging on a joint credit card in order to remake her niece into a total stranger.  Doing what she can to help, Kate gives Audrey a mask to hide behind and a little push back into the land of the living.  This woman is awesome.  She's supportive and protective when it calls for it, but she backs off to let Audrey heal as she needs it.  And it is Kate who first teaches Audrey to trust again.  She is a wonderful human being and I quite adore her.

Plot & Setting:

I'll be honest, I know nothing about San Diego.  I've never been to California.  So I don't really know if it's still eighty degrees in October.  If so: who wants a roommate and when can I move in?  (Just kidding, the idea of living in earthquake zone kinda makes me think it's unsafe and I'm not bothering with it.)

The setting felt real enough to me since this is a contemporary and I've barely left my home state.  If it feels real to a Californian, that would be the real test, but I can't say as I'd care.  Moving on…

Is it scary that the main point of the plot is so realistic that the book even felt the need to drop in the statistic that 1 in 4 girls will be sexually assaulted before they reach the age of 17?  I think so.  I find it terribly frightening and I feel so relieved and blessed that I was one of the lucky ones to have slipped by without this happening to me.  I know so many who haven't…

I emphasis that this is a point of the story--and a pretty valid one--because this is not the entirety of the plot.  The main plot actually encompasses a lot of these points.  Such as: healing after a traumatic experience; learning to trust and love those who are in your life all over again; not blaming yourself or those around you for things beyond your/their control; learning to accept what has happened, and deciding that it will not control your life.  All of these are very powerful messages.  Some could have been clearer, sure; but for the length of this novel and the fact that it's a standalone, it's done pretty damn well at highlighting at least the basics of some, and going far into depth for others.

The actual plot centers around Audrey relearning how to act 'normally' in society--while constantly fearing for her life.  There is a threat to her, and it is close.  However, between her aunt's protectiveness and the aid of the twins, she's learning how to function again without this one experience tainting everything in her life.

Writing Style:

I didn't even want to read the book yet!  "Jennifer made me do it!" will probably be my automatic response every time I get lost in one of this woman's books from now on.  I remember the same pull every time I read The Key, and especially its successors.  The writing style here is marvelous and it flows so smoothly and well, there are almost no complaints.

Unfortunately, I feel like I'm tainting a glowing review by pointing out some things I didn't like, but I feel like this could be a reference point, so here goes:

There was one conflict between Justin and Audrey concerning a support group at about roughly 90% into the book that I felt was unnecessary.  In other words, almost everything that had to do with the character Bree.  It didn't seem like it fit and Audrey's reaction was a little over the top.  In my opinion.

Also, I really hated Hannah's character.  Not because she was the mean, stuck-up cheerleader who feared the new girl was going to take her boyfriend.  I hated her because she was portrayed that way.  That many of the girls were hung up on Caleb and portrayed to show that they were catty or mean, or boy-hungry.

Even towards the end (Another Spoiler Alert, Avert Attention Now) where they realize who Audrey is and Hannah tells her, "If I had known who you were, I would have been nicer," all I could think was, "Seriously?  It takes a girl being victimized and abused before you decide you should be nicer to her?  Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

To be very honest, the 'mean girl' character pisses me off to a royal extent and I was very glad that Hannah's involvement was very limited in this.  I'm just hoping more and more books come out that completely eliminate this character archetype for good.

And, lastly, there was the entire 'threat' of the plot that seemed a little unrealistic.  I understand why it needed to be in the story, but it didn't feel entirely…  Almost as if it didn't quite live up to its potential.  I don't really know how to explain it…  Just that the villain was more of a prop than he was a tangible threat.

Other than those minor points, I felt everything else was well-done.  And I loved the romance that came about, and I loved how clear it was to understand Justin's motives.  Ah, Justin…

Sorry, where were we?

Oh, yes…

Overall Opinion:

I loved this book.  I truly loved it.  Even after examining the finer details and picking a little at its flaws, I still truly love this book.

Not because of the plot, either.  The characters carried this one.  Audrey and Justin, Caleb and Kate.  They were so perfectly rounded out, that I feel like I could know them in real life.  For that, please accept my very glowing review and very heartfelt recommendation for The Voice.

Book Review: The Wounded by Lauren Nicolle Taylor

The Wounded by Lauren Nicolle Taylor

Clean Teen Publishing © 2014

Kindle Edition

Dystopian

Reviewed by Leah

The Wounded on Amazon

How can you love someone and hate them so much at the same time?  The answer: read a book.  A more specific answer: read this series of books.  Lauren Nicolle Taylor, you're on my Watch List, for better or worse.

Summary:

Rosa didn't get what she came for.  With the sole purpose of returning to Pau Brazil being the rescue of her mother and infant sibling, what she came away with was a battered body and a lucky find in her friend, Rash.  Then there is the not-so-welcome revelation that her father is the Spider they were sent to rescue, and his loyalty has been to the Survivors much longer than Rosa's been alive.

Feeling overwhelmed and slightly heartbroken, all Rosa wants to do is return to Joseph and her son.  To be safe at home, and plan for the next phase of this warfare.

But the next phase hit them first.

When the Spider collectors return from their mission, it is to find their lives empty and deserted.  The others are gone.  Possessions left behind.  And the healing machine destroyed.

Knowing where the only safe hiding place is, they set off immediately for the Hole--a giant, radioactive remnant of a distant war.  There, Rosa is relieved to find both of her boys safe and sound.  But others are missing and her family is hanging on by tattered threads.

The once strong and determined Survivors are now the Wounded.  With each reminder of loved ones lost, they are unwilling, as of yet, to pick themselves up.  Instead, they are ready to rest, lick their wounds, and drown in their misery.  Which leads them to the Monkey City … and those people that Apella knew actually existed there all along.

It is not enough to wallow, however.  And when tragedy strikes in a way to pierce the heart of every living creature, Rosa is simply done.  Reciting their sworn oath, Rosa reminds them all what it means to be a Survivor.  And she's determined to take the fight back to the Woodlands.


Initial Thoughts:

By the time I finished this book, I couldn't even remember where this one began versus where the last one ended.  Thankfully, the publisher provided summary allowed my memory to distinctly separate the two fragments and I am once more able to give a somewhat-coherent review.

Which makes me grateful to the author.  It means that each of these books flow so well together, that it reads more like one book than three.  Bravo to Ms. Taylor!

(Also, I'm feeling kind-of shell-shocked by the ending.  Again.  Are you happy with yourself?)


Characters:

I don't need to get into how much I love Rosa for every one of these reviews.  But since I'm here…

Just kidding.  I love Rosa.  We'll leave it at that.

Joseph is his own typical, lovable self in this as well.  So, again, no real need.

Now … Apella and Alexei…  I hated you both, once upon a time.  To the point where I happily would have throttled you both with my bare hands.  But now…  Not so much.  Especially you, Apella.  You are gracious and self-sacrificing in a way that is very genuine.  It does not seem contrived in any way.  And after all you've done for Rosa and Joseph…  You have my forgiveness, as well as my gratitude for being such a heartbreakingly complex character throughout the entire series.

Rash, you do comedic relief like no other.  Especially when it is truly needed.  Thank you for making us all just a little less tense.

Again, thank you to a wonderful cast of characters for making this book so worth investing my time into.

Oh, and Este: HAHAHAHAHAHA!  You deserved that and so much more.


Plot & Setting:

Wonderful visionary skills abound here.  The world building continues to be sharp and tangible with each new setting.  And there were quite a few new places to explore in this novel.  Between creepy tunnels to charred highways, it was a mental movie-watching experience.  One I absolutely adored.

Again, no formulaic plot arc to this--just how I like it.  There are beginnings.  There are climaxes.  There are resolutions.  (Plural.)  And then there's that bloody cliffhanger.  (Aren't authors grand?)

Also, as much as I love this series, I do feel the need to stress that is character-carried and less plot-oriented.  This is about things happening and how they are reacted to.  So the emphasis is never really on the plot in itself.  (Just so you're all fully aware of what you agree to when you decide to allow this author and her characters to emotionally mangle you.)


Writing Style:

I absolutely love Ms. Taylor's writing style.  Since this is first person perspective, you get to see Rosa in all of her full, dysfunctional catastrophes.  And you get to feel the same frustrations and bear the same dark weight upon your shoulders as she is forced to carry.  It's a very tangible style and I'm glad to experience it.


Overall Opinion:

Definitely recommended.  The entire series.  I'm incredibly invested in this series and would love to have others to geek out to with this.  So I think more of my friends need to read this.  (Ahem.  Hint, hint.  Nudge, nudge.)

Not My Responsibility

So I'm here again.  Not to review anything, exactly.  Rather, more or less, to educate people (or incense my many rabid followers, hardy har har) about what exactly a review is for.

Now, as I've said before, I love GoodReads.  I even adore and aspire to be as critical as some of the most reviled GoodReads "bullies" out there.  (And yes, even I admit that they tend to jump down someone's throat right quick when they comment things the major band don't agree with.  Yet, with some of the Trolls they've been through, not exactly sure I'd be very lenient either.)

This, of course, does not mean I encourage bullying or even would want to be as aggressive in the threads of my reviews as they have been.  In fact, my very worst reviews have never been written (see previous post: Bad Reviews).  All of which is beside the point when I give you the very straight fact:

I have every right to write the most vitriol, disgusting review on the planet … with no basis for it.

I do have that right.  I retain that right.  And to say that my review is meant for anything other than my own reminiscences later on is absolutely ludicrous.

My review is not for the creator's benefit.

My review isn't even for other consumers.

It is especially not meant as an instruction manual or a vanity script.

The only purpose of my review is to remind me what I thought of a product after experiencing it.  Either so I know to keep tabs on a wonderful author, or steer clear of one that whines like a spoiled child not yet taught to hold its tongue while the adults are speaking.

I suppose now you may be wondering why I am ranting about this … again.  (See: Opinions Reside Here)  Well, I was traversing that wonderful verse called GoodReads and came across a response that struck me as odd, rude, and utterly false.  Without naming any names, here is what the comment consisted of:

"I have no comment on your judgment regarding this book; whether you like it or not is irrelevant.  However, a review should provide useful information about a novel and a basis for determining its worth.  Your review is nothing more than a foul-mouthed rant which gives the reader neither.  Try using the intelligence you claim to possess in your next review"

I was first struck by that opening sentence.  My first thought: Excuse me?  Bitch say wha-?  How ignorant is this person that they think that whether or not a reviewer likes the product is irrelevant?  In a consumer-based society, whether or not you actually like something is all that matters!  And what possible consumer wants to look at a review and basically read another summary?  Because that's all this commenter believes to be acceptable as a review apparently.

Secondly, a review should provide the honest thoughts of the reviewer.  Anything else (quotes, memes, praise and criticism) is all extra padding.  A review could be three paragraphs, three pages, or a single sentence.  That still makes it a valid review.  Anyone who doesn't understand that has no business even reading them.

Lastly, if a foul-mouthed rant is called for, then by all means: unload the fucking barrel.

This person, like many others I've happened upon across the GRs universe, seems to be under the delusion that reviewers are under some form of obligation.  That it is our responsibility to give only clear, concise reviews that briefly highlight what the book is about, and whether or not we add our personal stamp of approval.

Some people are under the impression that it is a reviewer's responsibility to critique the works of others and give only constructive criticism in our reviews.

Many think we owe it to the public to leave only watered down versions of our passionate responses to these works within the public eye.  (Omitting, of course, all those "foul" words which so sting their delicate senses.)

Well, please allow me to remove the veil covering those sensitive eyes:

It's not my responsibility.

I am under no obligation, whatsoever, to write a review that merely offers constructive criticism.

It's not my intent to make my reviews G-rated so that those with their panties in a bunch may rest a little easier.

And it is certainly no help to anyone to simply restate a summary.  It quite defeats the purpose of a review, wouldn't you say?

Nothing in that comment can be considered accurate.  Why?  Because it is not our job as reviewers to do anything for the publishing industry, or even our fellow consumers.

It is not our responsibility to point out authors' triumphant points or their failures.  But we do.

It is not our responsibility to write reviews that are filled with direct quotes, criticize plot choices, mention errors in editing, or applaud astounding characters.  But we do.

It is not our responsibility to create reviews meant to be engaging and witty, or even filled with distaste and foul language.  But we do.

This thing that we do as reviewers … it is not a job.  It is not an obligation.  It is not our responsibility.

It is a choice.  Something that we decide to do whenever we bloody well feel like it.  And the results will be our honest thoughts and opinions.  Whether or not others wish to hear them.

So to say that a review is only meant for a certain reason … is complete rubbish.

There is only one reason to write a review: to remember how we felt about the subject.  To document our experience and to one day go back and look again at all the lives we have lived, be they full of greatness or sorrow.

Whether we can do that in a single sentence, a couple of paragraphs, or even a few pages … that's for us to decide.

But it is certainly not our responsibility.