Book Review: Burning Shadows by Jennifer Anne Davis

Burning Shadows by Jennifer Anne Davis

Reign Publishing (c) 2016

ARC E-Book

Fantasy

Reviewed by Leah

Burning Shadows on Amazon

Isn't this cover gorgeous?  I prefer it over the cover for Rise, actually.  This one has more of the right feel to it.  Less ... fantastical.  This portrays the grittiness to come, and I really enjoy that fact.

Summary:

The Order of the Krigers has risen.

King Morlet is determined it should not be for long.  Desperation claims the vile King and he begins to raze villages to the ground in the hopes to destroy the lengthy network of supporters the Krigers have gathered.  All the while, his plans for Kaia grow even more sinister.

The symbol on Kaia's bo staff means choice.  And there is much for her to choose from.  When it is revealed that she must bear a child before Morlet can be destroyed, she is uncertain who the father is meant to be: her fiancé, Vidar, or his brother.  All the while she attempts to stifle her feelings for the assassin, Anders.

Just when it feels as if she has no choice in the matter at all, she finds that she has the biggest decision yet to make: Give up a part of herself to save the kingdom, or let Nelebek remain beneath the dark reign of Morlet.

It is a question that will define her, and decide the fate of a nation.

Initial Thoughts:

I was so geeked to pick up where Rise left off.  You know, considering that cliff we were left hanging off of...  The minute I got Anders and Vidar back was almost orgasmic.

Characters:

Kaia has grown up, for the most part.  She is a being who questions everything, because no one is being straight with her.  There is also a compassion to her that is less annoying and more relatable in this book than in the last.  We also have far less TSTL moments, so I didn't want to strangle her nearly as much.  As far as her development, I feel like we're still in the middle of her character arc, so I'm just hoping it improves even more come the next book.  Overall, we connected far better in this book, which I was thrilled about.

Anders is my sweet little assassin baby and no one can convince me otherwise.  While I still think he deserves better than Kaia, what he deserves more is a happy ending.  There are a lot of trials for Anders in this one and it makes it so difficult to bear.  His interactions with Kaia were exactly what you expect from him, and that made it equally heartwarming and heartbreaking.

Vidar and I were fighting in this book.  I mean, I understand his pragmatism.  That doesn't mean I had to like it.  In this book you get a far clearer image of what goes on in his head, and the sacrifices he's willing to make for his people and his nation.  And while they are powerful motives, it feels like he doesn't follow through with the right conclusion all the time.  Considering his character, however, I understood the decisions he made and I still love him as a person.  Faults and all.

Krigers are badasses.  End of discussion.

Morlet ...  gah it's so easy to hate him, but then there are those moments that you're no longer sure where Morlet ends and Espen begins.  It makes it difficult.  Very, very difficult.

Plot & Setting:

If you've read Rise, you know the setting.  And frankly, I'm in too much of a hurry to move on to the plot to waste time explaining it.  There's a map.  You'll figure it out.

Now, the plot followed a bumpy road.  What I mean to say is: subplots exist here.  And we have to follow a few of the subplots in order to propel us into the larger framework.  I. Freaking. Love. That.

Because of the subplots, we get answers to questions that plagued us in Rise.  We are introduced to new characters and the hint of possibilities.  There are more joyous moments that cushion your heart for the heartbreaks that follow.  And they offer an expectation as well as an offer.  Those subplots are the reason Kaia needs to continue.

It was brilliantly done.

Writing:

There's a reason I come back to this author's work.  It is un-put-downable.  Once the story captures you, there's nothing you want more than to just curl up in a warm blanket and read the day away.  (Or few hours.  Depending on how long it actually takes you.)  I love how compelling the writing is, no matter which of her books I pick up.  That is truly the mark of powerful storytelling to me.

Overall Opinion:

Vast improvement over Rise.  Hands down.  Everything seemed to come together more naturally and the character development kept me totally invested.  Good book.

Book Review: Time Warper: Fated by Peggy Martinez

Time Warper: Fated by Peggy Martinez

Clean Teen Publishing (c) 2015

Kindle Edition

Urban Fiction

Reviewed by Leah

Time Warper: Fated on Amazon

This book and I had zero chemistry.  That saddens me.

Summary:

When Sage Hannigan picked out the pendant in a little store, she had no idea that she was picking out a key to her own powers.  A dream-filled night full of sleepwalking soon lands her in the early 1900s with no idea how she got there.  Thanks to a sudden rescue from a vampire attack, she's introduced to a group of people eager to inform her of the world she's entered.

Sage is a Time Warper, and she's got a big event to deal with before she can make it home.  Dealing with a certain Head Vampire as well as several other preternatural creatures isn't easy, yet it seems far more simple than trying not to fall in love with a man one hundred years in her past.

Initial Reaction:

This book and I lacked chemistry so much that I put it on hold for months after getting only 4% into it.  Though the beginning of the book offers action and mystery, it did not hold my interests.  This is the type of novel I believe you have to be in the mood to read, or else your experience is far less enjoyable.

Characters:

Sage Hannigan was a hit and miss for me.  She had snarky, lippy, sarcastic moments and thoughts that I enjoyed to the fullest.  What she also had was a tragic, touched-upon history that I barely paid attention to.  She also had an incredible ability that she worked hard on controlling that wasn't nearly as cool to see in action as I hoped it would be.  Along with the fact that she has an instant attraction to one man right off the bat.  Add in another 'bond' with a vampire and my feelings for her hit a straight 'meh' streak.  For the most part, there wasn't anything really wrong with Sage, but nor did she inspire me to continue her journey.

Dr. Aldwin Blake felt like an archetype.  There was very little personality to him, in my opinion, other than what we see in several other YA novels.  He was scarred (physically as well as emotionally) and moody throughout much of the novel.  Many of the tender moments he had with Sage gave us very little in the way of his personality or allowed the reader to know why Sage felt so strongly for him.  And the moments that could have given us bigger clues were given more as snapshots instead of as full scenes.

Elaine is one of those characters whose last name I can't remember.  She's a strict, take-no-prisoners, dedicated member of Cerebus–a secret society keeping the preternatural world a secret.  It is her job to train Sage how to fit in with early 1900s society.  With rogue vampires on the loose, her stress level is a little high, and so are her expectations for Sage.

Travis and Phoebe are also cohorts in this little mission, but damned if I know more about them than key plot points that I don't feel like spoiling.

Soren is perhaps one of my more liked characters.  He is a head vampire that knows a thing or two about the way the world works.  His is a cool, calm facade equalized by his passionate nature.

Plot & Setting:

This is a first person perspective novel, so I wasn't expecting much in the way of setting.  What I was treated to, however, felt authentic.  It felt like a girl got dropped into another century and had no way to figure out what in the world was happening.

As far as the plot goes, I felt like it was predictable.  Not in a way that I knew everything that would happen next or even that it felt regurgitated from every other YA novel.  There was just a feeling that, when I was reading it, there was no suspense to it.  The love interests were predictable.  The ending was predictable.  Much of the storyline gave little to feed the imagination.

Writing:

I don't know what to say.  I think the best made up word I can say is: unengaging.  Despite the action scenes, or the emotional ones, I never felt invested in the story.  The writing didn't draw me in, but it also didn't repulse me.

Overall Opinion:

Meh.  I think this is a clear lack of chemistry.  Do I think other people will like it?  Yes.  Should you try it for yourself?  Absolutely.  I just think you need to be in the mood for this.  Even when I was enjoying the book, I still wasn't invested.  So this is something you really have to decide for yourself.

Bookaversary Giveaway

Time for another non-book-review related announcement: there's a giveaway in progress.

From October 1 til October 31, 2016, it is possible for any USA citizens to hop on over to GoodReads and enter two separate giveaways for the first two novels in my Prideful Magick Collection.

October 31st, obviously, being the first bookaversary for 'Ivy,' there are two copies up for grabs!  As a bonus, I'm unveiling the first giveaway for 'Oleander' with another two copies ready to find new forever homes.  If anything about the magickal world of Alexandria Ryder interests you, please go check it out.  Or just shoot over to my author page and read a synopsis.  The amazon pages are also great purchasing spots.  Don't forget: reviews are an author's best friends.  Love it or hate it, you should always express it in a review!

So follow the links!

"Oleander" Released June 30!

Oleander by Hollow Ryan

Prideful Magick Collection Book 2

Released: June 30, 2016

YA Paranormal

Oleander on Amazon

To be honest, I can't believe I didn't update this prior to the release date.  Just goes to show what a hectic time that was.

Between moving and releasing Oleander, I'm surprised as much promotional stuff happened as it did.  I don't ever recommend huge life changes taking place around a book release.  If I hadn't made the decision to release it in June, no matter what, I probably would have postponed release.

As it stands, Oleander has been released, and I encourage EVERYONE to go and buy themselves a copy.  (While it is recommended that you read Ivy first, I don't believe it is necessary.)

So why am I posting about it today?

Well, as it happens, today is when I received MY copies!

So please enjoy looking at my total bragging rights, while I go and enjoy a good book.

Have a pleasant summer, folks, and may it be full of good books, good friends, and good weather!

Book Review: Bloodthorn by Tamara Grantham

Bloodthorn by Tamara Grantham

Crimson Tree Publishing (c) 2016

ARC E-book

Fantasy

Reviewed by Leah

Bloodthorn on Amazon

This cover does not disappoint.  I am content.

Summary:

After ten months of nursing a broken heart, Olive Kennedy no longer believes in fairy tales.  Which would be just fine, if the fairies didn't arrive on Earth with the tale of a creature no one is certain exists.  A creature that feeds off of dark energy, and might be a shapeshifter committing the murders of Olive's unique set of clients.

Working at the Texas Renaissance Festival in the hopes of scraping together enough to live off of, Olive never expected for bodies to drop in her lap, Fairies asking for her help on the recommendation of her stepfather, the Sky King, or that her ex––King Kull of the Wults––might be playing bodyguard to her royal guests.  None of which will cease plaguing her life until she retrieves the Fairy Starstone––an object that absorbs all of the dark magic uttered by Fairies, so that they can cast nothing but good, pure spells.

As the death toll rises, and a new drug reveals itself in every case, Olive learns that this mysterious creature, the bloodthorn, has set its eyes on her and her magic.  Feeling like a piece moved about on a game board, Olive knows that not all is as it seems, but she can't figure out how to break the pattern.

Even Kull's luck might not get her through this time.

Initial Thoughts:

Well, I mentioned the cover, right?  Okay, then we're good there.  My initial reaction was, of course, utter glee that I was able to read this as an ARC.  Then it was a whole new refreshing experience being able to immerse myself in the Olive/Kull/Faythander adventures once more.

Characters:

Olive is an emotional wreck in this installment.  If you've read Spellweaver then you know why.  She has good reason to be angry all the time.  Even if it does last ten whole months, and her employer is beginning to question her ability to help clients when she's so unwilling to help herself.  Add a dash of magic disobedience, and she's not in the best of moods.  Throw in the man who broke her heart and another demand to save Faythander, and Olive is a little on the weary side.  And it brings out a whole different woman than the one we've dealt with before.

Kull has also undergone dramatic psychological shifts in the past ten months.  So much so that the people who once worshipped him now avoid him like the plague.  Having inherited the crown of the Wults, he has to think politics all of the time.  Though being on a rough-and-tumble adventure for the sake of the Fairies, it brings out a little more of his old self.

(As a nod to a brief side character that I am praying I see more of, I'd just like to say that Grandamere is fabulous!)

By the way, I am waiting for Brent to reveal his bad guy status.  Even though he might prove to be an ally at some point, and not all that evil, I still dislike him.  Very much.  For eternity.  I don't care how much he proves me wrong.

Plot & Setting:

The setting is once more basking in Texas while melding with Faythander.  Wherever Olive is, you're there.  You feel the change when she goes from Earth Kingdom to her home world, and it's the little things that let you journey with her.  Setting is very important, and this is always done well in these books.

The plot here was very specific in what it had to do, and it did it.  As Olive followed her leads, she did so with a single-mindedness of a desperate woman.  The answers she needs are within reach at all times, and she knows it well.  Of course, there are also new questions that need answering by the time this journey has reached its end.

Writing Style:

I chose to do a reread of Bloodthorn while I was coming off of an Ilona Andrews binge.  Wise move on my part.  While the voices are different, there is a bit of a similarity in style that made this the perfect 'hair of the dog'.  Olive could have been best friends with some of the snarky, witty, ferocious women in the Andrews universe.  Though there are so many darker moments in this book than in previous experiences, Olive still has a witty retort, or exacerbated remark at hand to fight back.  Even when she is struggling, it is always with the idea that she'll keep moving forward.  It is a style of writing and characterization that I absolutely love.

Overall Opinion:

This book offers more sides to both Olive and Kull, and even a few side characters, than we have previously seen, which brings with it a whole slew of emotions.  The adventure and mystery surrounding them carry the reader away and leave them hungering for more.  It is a book I very much enjoyed, and one I will always recommend.  (After you read the first 2.)

Book Review: Rise by Jennifer Anne Davis

Rise by Jennifer Anne Davis

Month9Books © 2016

ARC Ebook

High Fantasy

Review by Leah

Rise on Amazon

Look at that cover.  Commence drooling.  Wipe mouth.  Continue reading.

Summary:

When the balance of the world shifts, something must always occur to restore it.

In the case of the nation of Nelebek, things took a turn for the worse when Morlet, a man with dark magic coursing through his veins, takes the throne.  His power is menacing and his reign is full of desperation.  Yet, out of the dark, there must be light.  This comes in the form of the Order of the Krigers; twelve warriors who come into their own powers at the age of eighteen and whose shared destiny is to combine with each other and their weapons to kill the king.

For over a century, the Krigers have been hunted by two sides.  A mysterious assassin and his friend are alone in their knowledge of what must be done to aid the Krigers, and so they search for any they can get to before Morlet's guards.  After so long, the King has become aware that the powers of the Krigers will endure, no matter how many he kills.  So he has begun to imprison them, in order to kill all twelve as they are linked, destroying the Order of the Krigers forever.

Morlet has eleven.  There is only one left.

Kaia didn't mean to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Yet, it was during a public execution that she comes face to face with the dark and powerful ruler of Nelebek.  And when she meets his eyes, an ancient power rises in order to combat his own destructive magic.

Now, she must decide whether or not she will accept her destiny, while learning what all that entails.

Initial Thoughts:

I'm not going to lie here, Kaia and I did not get along.  I yelled at her throughout the entire book.  Despite her, however, it was not a trying read for me.  Mostly because the secondary characters were this book's saving grace.

Characters:

Kaia and I are not compatible creatures.  When it comes to a moral compass, you'd never be able to find someone so pure and naive as Kaia.  Despite her father's wise teachings and relentless training, Kaia still doesn't have what it takes in her to be a warrior.  Not at heart.  She also lacks the inherent suspicion of other people that keeps most of us alive on a daily basis.  Common sense is also something she is sorely lacking.  And as the assassin, Anders, would happily point out: she can't keep her mouth shut.  Even/especially when it matters most.  Out of the 19 pages of notes I took while reading this book, yelling at Kaia comprises of 95% of them.  I wanted to kill her myself, she was so TSTL (too stupid to live).  I'm not sugar-coating it; there were several times that she should have died, and didn't only by the grace of amazing secondary characters.  Her innocence is the kind reserved for a child growing up in a loving home, and has no business being in a sixteen-year-old who was trained to fight since she could walk.  There is no excuse for that level of naiveté.

Anders was a badass.  He was funny and boyish at times, while being stubborn and fierce when needed.  There were a few mood swings of his that seemed odd, but were pleasurable to experience.  What I truly enjoyed about Anders, however, was that he was a contradiction of emotions and actions, but he allowed nothing to stand in the way of his objective.  Even Kaia's whiny savior-complex.  Though he feels guilty about the lives he takes, Anders knows that there is no choice but to take them, and he doesn't hesitate.  He pays the price for what he does, but he doesn't display it for everyone to pity.  For that, I adored him.  I dubbed him my favorite from page 35, and I don't see that changing throughout this series.

Vidar was also fucking amazing.  Sorry, there's just no other way to put it.  He's charismatic, noble, caring, and has a strong sense of purpose.  It is his drive that has kept the Krigers going for so long, and what keeps Anders in check.  There's also a few flirty moments with Kaia that you can't help but adore him for, since it is all done for the sake of humor.  Vidar is adorable.  I can add nothing to that, and you'll have to read to find out exactly what I mean.  Between him and Anders, though, it was an entertaining read.

Morlet is also one of the most interesting characters in the book.  Now, I can't say too much on him without revealing some of the book's most intriguing moments, but he is a character you want to keep your eye on.  Before, I said that Anders was made of contradictions.  Morlet suffers with a few more of those than you would think.  And not even a king is master of everything.  Much less himself.

Plot & Setting:

As far as setting goes, this one is a bit lacking.  Through the narrative, we learn some basic layout, but not enough to immerse us.  Yet, since this is First Person Perspective, I usually let setting slide for realism's sake.  I mean, how many of us go around describing everything we see every day in our heads?  For a character to do it instead of focusing on the action, that's unforgivable to me.  So no harm, no foul on setting.

Plot though…  I'm back and forth on this one.  As I said, I need my characters focused on the action, and Kaia does nothing but this.  Yet, she's also used to create unnecessary series of events because she's just that plain stupid.  There were several instances in this book where she honestly should have died.  There were instances that could have been avoided entirely if she had just been a little more suspicious. And if she had trusted her allies more and her enemies less, half of the book would never have happened.

In general, the plot arc that this book was going for was achieved.  I loved the revelations and many of the character progressions that I witnessed.  Yet, much of it felt contrived through Kaia's ignorance, and I was not okay with that.

Writing Style:

I've read plenty of books by Jennifer Anne Davis and there is at least one quality to them that remains consistent: once I reach a certain point, it is in everyone's best interest not to fucking interrupt me.  For several of her books, this has come way sooner, and for others I pass that point much later.  This was one of the latter category.  My disconnect with Kaia made it hard to deal with her, but there was always a driving need to know what happens next.  To find out if my theories are sound.  (They were, btw.)  To see how everything would unfold.  That is the power of Ms. Davis's writing.  It pulls you in and keeps you questioning.  Even if you abhor the MC, you still have to stick with it to find out if everything is as you thought it would be.  Which is why I will undoubtedly be reading the next book.

Overall Opinion:

This is going to be a hit or miss with people, and there will be very little in-between.  (Waves hand at all the few other people to join me in the middle.)  There were parts I loved about this book, and there were parts I despised.  Since this is a FPP, however, I think most opinions will be directly related to how well you can connect with Kaia.  For younger teens, this will probably be a phenomenal hit.  For older teens, probably less so.  And amongst the adult portion of readers, I have to think it'll be a 50/50 shot, because so many want to experience the kind of innocence, naivety, and self-righteousness that Kaia provides; while others who don't mind the darker parts of the human experience will find her lacking in every instinctual, defensive necessity that our existence depends upon.

Tattered Travelers

"Tattered Travelers"

A Book Sharing Idea

Cover of Ivy by Hollow Ryan © 2015

As I have made you all very aware of, as of October 31, 2015, I released my novel, Ivy. You may also have learned that I'm new to this whole marketing gig and am still learning the ropes. But I'd be lying if I said I wrote for profit. (I mean, it'd be nice, and I would love to quit my day job––if I could force myself to do it, because I love that, too––but it's not a priority.) I write because it's what I'm meant to do. It's a part of me that is irrevocable and must be adhered to.

This will sound corny as all hell, but I just like sharing my stories. There's nothing I love more than introducing my friends (you could call them characters, but there is nothing imaginary about them to me) to other people and gushing about everything that happens to them. If you've ever had a prolonged conversation with me after reading one of my books, you will get sick of me and my books. No joke. We will discuss everything that happened in those pages and how the characters reacted.

So, back to the topic: Tattered Travelers. This is an idea that has cropped up in my head since long before Ivy was even edited. It was this daydream I had to just leave a signed copy of my book laying somewhere, hoping someone would pick it up, take it home, read it, and then leave it somewhere else for another curious soul to find. Clearly, there are flaws in this idea.

One, it is way too easy for an abandoned book to be torn apart and left for the trash. People don't always have a proper respect for novels and it wouldn't bother them in the slightest to intentionally ruin a book and throw it away. So, alas, I have little faith in this working out.

Two, people like to keep books. They're not exactly good at passing them on. Especially if it is a book they really like. (Okay, I'm talking about me here. Mostly. I mean, I recommend books all the time. Just don't ask to borrow mine. Because I obviously have trust issues.)

Three, reading is subjective.  If one person picks up the book, reads the back, decides they don't like it … then what?  Will they pass it to someone they think will like it?  Will they leave it somewhere for someone else to find?  What will happen to my precious?!

My biggest fear, I guess, is that the book will reach the end of the line somewhere.  Either in a dumpster, someone's home, or donated to some library or little bookstore.  (Which, I mean, I'm fine with it being in bookstores and all of that, but I would like those to be other copies.  Not my Tattered Travelers, please.)

The daydream I have concocted for my Tattered Travelers is turning out to be something a little more realistic.  So here's how the dream is going to become reality:

I am going to pick a set amount of books.  Inside each of these will be a bookmark, announcing your magnificent luck in finding one of these traveling beauties.  This bookmark will also explain the rules of your new companion and what must be done once you've hit the last page.  Now, I will take these precious copies and send them to five people I can trust to keep them moving.  In return, I know they will choose people they trust to keep the tradition.  So on and so forth.

As I am still working this all out, I'm just going to post here what I might put on the back:

**Congratulations, you've found a Tattered Traveler! The rules are simple and I'll explain them now:

1. Read the back and decide if you want to journey inside.

2. From cover to cover, read what you will find.

3. When you're finished, send the bookmark back to the first page.

4. Then find a spot to sign your name.

5. If you wish, a picture would be best.

6. Then send it on its way to start again.

Any questions that you have, just find my author and, please, do ask!**

(** Mark beginning and end of bookmark **)

So, that's my idea.  And I think it will work.  Why?  Because if you love a book so much that you want to share it with everyone, you ought to have a book TO be shared with everyone.  As my best friend said when I was pitching this idea to her: Loving a book the way it's meant to be loved!

Let's love our books, and set them free. If you're some of the first chosen to receive these travelers, don't forget to autograph it, post a pic, and send it on its way!

Best and Worst of 2015

I can't believe another year has passed.  How did this happen?  Someone hit the pause button for just a second so I can catch my breath.

No?  Fine, then I guess I have to get on with this.  The best and worst forms of entertainment I have come across in the year 2015.  Yikes.

Okay, so here we go.  From Gems to Blacklist…


BOOK GEMS:

1. Nora and Kettle by Lauren Nicolle Taylor

2. Dreamthief and Spellweaver by Tamara Grantham

3. Chalice by Robin McKinley

4. Pegasus by Robin McKinley

5. Cage of Deceit by Jennifer Anne Davis

6. Ivy by Hollow Ryan



MOVIE GEMS:

1. Max

2. Jurassic World

3. Avengers: Age of Ultron

4. Machine Gun Preacher



GAME GEMS:

1. Rise of the Tomb Raider



Now onto…


BOOK BLACKLIST:

1. The Awakener by Amanda Strong

2. Descendant by Nichole Giles

3. Reluctant Guardian by Melissa Cunningham

4. Crushed by Kasi Blake

5. The White Aura by Felicia Tatum



MOVIE BLACKLIST:

1. Jupiter Ascending

2. San Andreas

3. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

4. Spectre


There you have it, Leah's worst and best experiences of 2015.  I'll try to keep better notes on my wrap up for 2016, but I'm hopeful that the list of Gems grows, while the list of Blacklist shrinks.  But we shall see.

Photographs and Family: Rights and Respect

So, this is more or less going to be a personal opinion and a revelation about myself that I would like to put into words.  Again: this is a personal look into my thought process.  If you have a differing opinion, that's good for you, but this is how I react to certain situations.

I hate being photographed.  Not because I think I look ugly–though there are days that no mortal eye should have to look upon my visage.  Not because I think it would be an awful picture.  Not because I don't want to have a record of that moment in time.

I hate being photographed because I cannot trust the intentions of the photographer.

Everything ends up on the internet these days.  Everything.  From food in a restaurant (never understood that compulsion) to private pictures you thought might stay in the possession of one person alone.

Now, I grew up in a very strict household.  I have never slept over at a friend's house.  I have never gone to parties.  I wasn't even allowed to go on a walk by myself through our own field.  With that kind of parentage, you can then imagine what paranoia existed when it came to the internet.

For years, I have remained cautious in my approach to people on the internet.  I avoid giving out my phone number.  Only a very few people that I trust explicitly have my address.  And I'm even impressed that when I search myself online, there are no records of my location or personal information available.

The only thing you will find about me on the internet is what I have chosen to put up there.  This includes pictures of myself and my works as an author.  That is it.  I couldn't even find my own phone number or address, though several of my relatives' information is available.

I am forever proud of this accomplishment, though I know it likely won't last forever.  It becomes harder, however, when people start posting things concerning you without your permission.

Recently I was in the midst of what might be called a family gathering.  One of my uncles was present and asked for group photographs.  Something I balked at in an instant, and had it not been for the request of my wonderful grandmother, it wouldn't have happened.

There are several reasons I did not wish to do this, though I agreed only on the stipulation that any pictures of me not be posted.  And now I'm going to get into the other reasons, and this could be a long rant.

To begin with, I had not seen this particular uncle in roughly 15 years.  He is a stranger to me, and I did not feel comfortable with a stranger taking pictures of me.  Period.  It would have been no different had it been a man off the street asking me to pose for him.  That shit is not okay.

Now, my refusal of this made several of my family members upset, and I can sort-of see their point.  This man is my father's brother and hasn't seen me in years, and likely won't ever see me again.  He wanted remembrances of his family.  I can understand that, to a degree.

Except that he is a stranger to me.  He is not my family.  I have chosen my family, and I have let go of people who I deem unworthy.  Relatives I have not seen or spoken to in years whom I have no interest in … yeah, they don't make the cut.

Another issue with this ordeal was that he began to take photographs of me without my permission.  That shit is also not okay.  Up until that point, I had had no issues with this man and was pleasantly surprised to find him less annoying than I suspected he might be.  All of that camaraderie was thrown out the window when I was forced to flip him the bird mid-photo when he attempted to ambush me.

This revealed to me that he had a lack of respect for my decision and what I was comfortable with.  And it wasn't the last time he would attempt to ambush me with his camera.  Yet, when I spoke up about how disrespectful to me it was, I was the bad guy.

I'm not.

I agreed to a few family photos, so long as I knew they were for his eyes only.  I cooperated within the limits of what I was comfortable with.  He deviated from that oral contract and assaulted my rights to privacy when he attempted to take unwanted photographs of my person.  That shit is not okay.

Again: this man is a stranger to me.  He has no right to any photographs of me, whatsoever.  But because there is a blood relationship between us, he thought my opinion invalid.

Let me make this clear to anyone who doesn't understand what I am saying:

Just because you are related to an individual, that doesn't mean you have any rights regarding them.

And yes, I mean that to be as vague as it sounds, because even parents don't have all the rights they think they do, in many cases.  Uncles, aunts, cousins, and even grandparents all have less and less rights to a person depending upon the personal relationships formed between each individual.

Every being in my life is afforded whatever rights I deem fit to give them when it comes to my person, and nothing else.  It is my life, so I make the decision about who gets to be involved in it.

By taking pictures of me that I was not willing to allow, this uncle of mine showed a lack of respect for me that I will not forgive.  It shows the kind of man he is and the ignorance he possesses if he believes that he is entitled to anything involving me.  Even a simple picture.  The fact that he also outright refused to accept my rejection of permission shows that he is incapable of respecting me, and so I equally revoked whatever respect had been on loan to him for the duration of his visit.

Had this been the only case of its kind, I might not have wrote this whole long post.  (Or I still might have, because the fact that I was dubbed the villain in this scenario is outright ludicrous.)  But there have been many instances in my own pool of blood relatives and in the situations of others I know that prompted me to write this blog post.

It comes down to more than a few pictures that someone took without my permission.  This is about the disrespect for me and the boundaries I had laid by someone who is related to me.

I have seen families disrespecting each other and their opinions so often, that it is quite sad that it is the norm.  Which is why I have distanced myself from any individuals that should think of doing this to me.

I guess what I am trying to say is:

Your relatives have only as many rights to you as you give them.  If you have a good relationship with them, like I do with my mom, than they probably have a lot.

There's are several adages to life that people would have you follow.  Including: you must give respect to get respect.  Yet, another says that respect must be earned.

Both of these are true.  Though you don't have to give respect rather than show respect.  If a person is unknown to you, you act in a respectful manner in order to earn their respect.  It is ideal that they should also do the same for you.

My uncle did not do this for me, and subsequently lost any respect I might have either given or shown to him.

The one adage I live by is: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  He refused to respect me and so I acted in kind.

Perhaps the worst of it is that he probably didn't even realize what he was doing, because he thought he had the right to take home some remembrance of me.  He didn't understand that he no longer had those rights.

And that's the thing: most blood relatives don't understand that their rights have been revoked or suspended.  And if you're a minor or someone who has to respect the rules of the household, you are probably unable to show your relatives the errors of their ways.  If that is the case, you have my empathy because I was also halted in the midst of the lesson my uncle needed to learn by that same respect for my grandparents, and I also grew up with a man who did not allow any dissent for blood relations to be vocalized often.

Rest assured, however, that there will come a day when you can put your foot down and say enough is enough.  It's time that blood relatives learn that every interaction with you is a privilege, not a right.

So often, they think because you are related, that's a free pass to do and say whatever they want with you.  That is not the case.  And if your parents won't stick up for you, you have to stick up for yourself.

You have my blessings and my support, because I also live through this enormous amount of bullshit.